Date Published: Feb 11, 2002
Copyright: SAN DIEGO UNION TRIBUNE PUBLISHING COMPANY

At first glance, it could be any cocktail party.

People milling about, sipping wine, nibbling cheese, chitchatting and laughing. Only upon closer inspection, do you realize that some of the women are bald and most are wearing bathrobes. And all of them have had breast cancer.

Once a month, breast cancer survivors gather at a La Jolla day spa to be pampered, share experiences and celebrate a hopeful future. Far from their oncologist's office and the medicinal smell of radiation treatments, these women honor a unique and emotionally binding sisterhood.

"I feel like a princess," says Anne Hansen, 44, who finished her last chemotherapy session two months ago.

She sat sipping a drink at the juice bar, wig in hand, and a big grin on her face.

"This beautiful spa, the lovely women I've met, it's been a long time since I've felt this good," she says.

That's exactly the reaction Dr. Stephen Krant was hoping for.

When the La Jolla plastic and reconstructive surgeon and his wife opened the luxurious SK Sanctuary spa a year ago, they knew they wanted to do something for these women.

"I wanted to give them something to make them feel good and feel good about themselves," says Krant, whose 7,500-square-foot Tuscan- style spa is one of the most elite in the county.

He hosts about 35 women a month, treating them to complimentary spa services, food, wine and a program of inspirational speakers.

"I've learned over the years that positive reinforcement and positive thinking are incredible aids to the healing process," Krant says.

Spa night attendance has grown from "a handful" a year ago, to a full house with a waiting list of at least 20 or 25 women in every phase of treatment and recovery.

"There is no `typical' guest (on spa night)," says Kelly Costa, spa director. "We get women who are in their mid-20s to their mid- 70s. We get career women who come over straight from their office and stay-at-home moms who leave their three kids at home with a baby sitter."

It's become so popular that guests are limited to two spa nights a year so new people can experience it.

"It was so nice to just sit back and have someone take care of you," says Juanita Dotson. The 48-year-old school psychologist from Oceanside is midway through her chemotherapy treatments.

"I came home very happy, on a real high," she says.

While Dotson opted for a facial, others selected from a full menu of treatments including a full-body massage, manicure, pedicure, makeup application or a stimulating Vichy shower.

"We tell them to relax and put their wallets away," Costa says. "Spa night is their night."

Before the first spa night last year, Costa wanted to make sure the staff was "doing everything right" for the breast cancer guests.

All the aestheticians at SK Sanctuary have had training by cancer nurses to learn special massage or facial techniques so they can accommodate the guests' individual needs. Because chemotherapy and radiation often increase sensitivity to smell or touch, technicians are careful to use a minimal amount of odorous chemicals such as nail polish remover and continually check with the guest during all treatments to make sure they're comfortable.

While the spa services were a rare treat, most guests agreed that their favorite part of the evening was meeting other breast cancer survivors in an upbeat setting.

"It's wonderful to meet other hairless women and have some real locker-room discussions," Dotson says, giggling. "We had a good ol' `I'll show you mine if you show me yours.' "

Different from a cancer support group, which "usually attracts the sickest and neediest of people," Dotson says spa night offered a "lovely self-indulgent environment that didn't attract people who just wanted to sit around on folding chairs crying."

Joan Wesson, 57, of Encinitas, admits she was skeptical at first.

"I expected to be sold a time share or something," says the executive secretary for the Encinitas Union School District who finished her last cancer treatment in October. "I kept looking for the hook."

She never found one. Instead, she found women with whom she not only shared a medical experience, but also a new appreciation for life.

"The sisterhood I established with the other ladies was wonderful," Wesson says. "At first everyone was very quiet and kind of shy. But by the end of the evening, it was like we knew each other forever."

When fragile-looking Audrey O'Neill, 32, changed into her spa robe, her black knit hat stayed on. Her chemotherapy had just ended in late November and she was still very shy about baring her bald head. Halfway through the evening, however, something changed.

"I just felt so comfortable. I thought, `What the heck. I have nothing to hide,' " she says, and the hat came off. And stayed off. "That was my first public exposure. There, with them, it really felt good."

Although Aimee Williams, 32, came to spa night hoping to meet breast cancer survivors her own age, it was the variety of women she met that impressed her the most.

"Just hanging out with other women who don't have secrets from each other and being able to speak frankly and relate to other people's experience was great," says Williams, who finished her last chemotherapy treatment in mid-December.

She traded stories and phone numbers with a 25-year-old guest and got hugs and advice from a 73-year-old, 17-year cancer survivor.

"I loved my massage, and my facial was great," Williams said. "But the best therapy there was just being around all of those wonderful women."

Spa Nights for breast cancer survivors are held the last Tuesday of each month at SK Sanctuary in La Jolla. (858) 459-2400 or www.sksanctuary.com